Body Image/Eating Disorders

It’s unfortunate but eating disorders appear to be a pretty common thing nowadays. I think that children in this era have so much to deal with compared to my childhood. There are so many images that children are confronted with in this media generation and it makes it difficult for parents to keep up. Images on television, movies, videos, in print, fashion, or in any public arena are constantly in children’s faces. The unrealistic images after airbrushing and professional makeovers display unrealistic images that young people want to mimic and resemble. Some children want to get to the ideal weight while others seek the ideal image through clothing, makeup, jewelry, while attempting to create little clone images of their idols. I think that all adolescents will deal with body issues at some point in their lives but those that don’t have the support at home to sort out these mixed up images and ideals with have the hardest time dealing this these issues. Young women get some many mixed messages during their lives that they can only hope to get through these vulnerable times. So many outer messages and images telling these young girls that they need to be thinner, glamorous, or have the right clothes in order to be in the in with their crowd. I hate the idea of someone not feeling like they are not good enough as they are that they have to punish themselves and their bodies. I have a friend that is now in her forties, she has always struggled one way or another with body images. She unfortunately was very tall and had masculine features. She was called names as a child and I remember how cruel some of her own friends were, they would call her names like “guerrilla girl” or “sasquatch”. They would call her a man. It was very hurtful but she laughed it off like it didn’t bother her. She became very comical with it and she would make everyone laugh after someone would call her those cruel names. She began to fight males when they called her a man and she would get them to back off and it must have happened enough that we all just became desensitized. As the years passed she became involved in alcohol and became very promiscuous. I figured that was her way of getting the attention of the opposite sex because she was so very masculine looking. When she behaved in that manner her body image didn’t come into question because the boys were just looking to have sex. It’s unfortunate but it seemed to work for her and I think in way it made her feel pretty and special. This soon defined her and she was quite proud of her conquest. It’s sad really but it was her claim to fame so to speak and she appeared to be okay with it. Many years had passed and I had lost touch with her but then year ago she invited us to go and visit her in Hawaii. I thought that it was going to be a great little get away with shopping and eating out and relaxation. Well that trip was nothing more than watching a very unhealthy looking woman who had an alcohol problem that kept interrupting every activity we attempted to make because we had to stop at stores or bars because she had the shakes and every time we went out to eat she would refuse to order and if she did she would quickly excuse herself to go to the restroom. I thought it was strange because she didn’t even give herself time to digest her food as soon as she finished the last bite she excused herself. My cousin and I got suspicious after awhile and began to immediately follow behind her each and every time she was in the stall throwing up. That really isn’t something you can disguise as I am sure we have all had that unpleasant experience. The first time we heard her we asked if she was okay, thinking she got food poisoning or something and she said that it was something she ate. We took it at face value but having spent two weeks in her home we were disturbed to find that this was a regular occurrence. Her teeth were brown and she just looked anorexic. Her cabinets and refrigerator were completely empty. All she had was a pantry with tiny cans of corn beef hash. There were about 20 cans and nothing else. We were amazed this is a woman with two teenage daughters in the house and there was nothing to eat. Her daughters told us that she never bought food and that when she ate she would eat that and then throw it up. We were appalled that these children were fending for themselves. The one thing that did stand out to me was how often she commented on my body and how much thinner she was than me and who “hot” she looked. I couldn’t fathom what was driving her thought process because she appeared to be obsessed with body images and made me feel very uncomfortable with her remarks. All topics of conversation came back to how thin she managed to stay after three children and for her age. She clearly didn’t see the image in the mirror that we saw because she was clearly very unhealthy. It’s unfortunate but that visit didn’t end well and her husband eventually gave her an ultimatum to change her ways, which was unsuccessful. She is now divorced and looking sicklier than ever before. She has been confronted by friends and family with no avail, she says that it’s her life and she will do as she pleases and if we don’t like it we can leave, which is what my cousin and I did. I can only attribute her condition to her obsession to her body image it’s unfortunate but I can’t help but wonder if she hasn’t been like this all her life or was it a gradual progression I guess I’ll never know but I have had the sad opportunity to experience this behavior first hand and it is a very sad thing. I can only imagine how her life will end up. She is now 45 years old, secluded from friend and family but appears to be accepting of her life style. It’s unfortunate but it appears that body image and eating disorders is not limited to young children and one would be surprised just who is affected by such a terrible disorder.